Beating the Competition

When I first laid eyes on my wife, I couldn’t believe that any woman could be that stunningly beautiful. Surely a lady who looked like that had a boyfriend or a husband somewhere. I chalked this up more to my mother teaching me to be on the lookout for violent, jealous boyfriends of unfaithful women than anything else. However, I was in luck: she was unattached. In fact, to hear Amps tell it, my timing was impeccable. The rest, of course, is history.

I wish I could say I was similarly unoccupied, but that would be a lie. Nothing exclusive or serious, mind you; I had just come to the point in my life where I was looking to settle down and I wanted to see who was out there. Unfortunately, the answer was “not much.” All the good ones seemed to be taken, and I didn’t seem to connect on any significant level with the ones who were left until I met my wife. It turned out all the good ones weren’t taken, I just had to look a little harder.

The reason I bring all this up is because I read a meme recently that went something like this:


competition copy


A Facebook friend took exception to this and declared that if she had to compete with multiple women, “then let them have fun. I’m OUT!” This likely explains why she’s still single.

We all like to imagine we just discovered our significant other, like penicillin or electricity. But the truth is, they’re more like America: people were there before you, staking claims and everything. Think about it, Alarmerettes: he had to learn that stroke from somewhere. No man just wakes up with good tongue game. I don’t think that a man is only going to go on dates with one woman at a time if he’s serious about settling down; he’s going to hold auditions. That’s what every date is, an audition. The only difference is you may not necessarily meet your competition. That doesn’t mean they’re not there. You’re rarely the only one who wants a particular man.

So what do you do, knowing what you know now? Do you refuse to date a man unless you know for sure that there are no other women trying to stake a claim? No, that would be f**king stupid. Consign yourself to side chick status? Hell no. What you do is hold the best damn audition you can. Show (don’t tell) him why you’re a winner. You know what you want, you know what you’re worth, and you know what you bring to the table. It’s all about getting him to see that – in essence, getting the job. If he chooses you, great. If not, then he wasn’t right for you anyway. Just don’t think you’re the only one throwing her hat into the ring.

What do you think, Alarmers? Leave your comments below.

About Charlie Biggs

Charlie Biggs is the tall, dark, and devilishly handsome host, writer and co-producer of The Alarmed Show. A native of Brooklyn, NY, he enjoys music, movies, and books. Biggs lives in New Jersey with his wife and daughter.